When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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