so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
