My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
