I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
