entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
