he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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