am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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