normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
