yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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