i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
