Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
