At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
