she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
