You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
