I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
