Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
