Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
