Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
