he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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