haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
