I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
