$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
