Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
God, I missed his penis.
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