I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
