Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I think people are normalizing furries
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
