Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize