the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
