It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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