Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
