For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
