on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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