When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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