Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
