yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
