I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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