yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize