Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
