Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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