Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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