There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
