May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have fence marks all over my body
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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