i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
