he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize