i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
