He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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