YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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