The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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