Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
