I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
