You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
