the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize