Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize