DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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