Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize