my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
