beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
