I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
and you said cock pushups were impossible
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
