Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
