I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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