Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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