never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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