Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
