I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
