we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
