Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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