She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
