if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
