Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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