I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
