Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
